Recommended Strategies to Calm Your Nervous System to Support Fertility Treatment
Have you ever heard someone say, "You should stay calm—don’t stress; stress isn’t good for conception"? And then thought, “Great, now I’m just ruining my chances because I’m stressed”? Or found yourself wishing you could be as chill as that calm person over there?
There’s a lot of talk about staying calm during fertility treatment, but honestly, that kind of advice can just add more pressure and even guilt. Stress is a totally natural response, especially when you’re navigating such a tough journey. Blaming yourself for feeling stressed only feeds that inner critic, making it even harder to find calm and self-compassion.
So, here are some strategies and techniques to help you create a sense of safety and flow as you move through your fertility journey:
1. Develop Supportive Self-Talk: One of the most powerful tools is transforming your inner dialogue. Instead of judging yourself, practice self-love and compassion. Take a piece of paper and create two columns. On one side, list negative things you often tell yourself, like “It’s my fault,” “I’m too stressed,” or “I don’t deserve this.” In the second column, write supportive and loving responses, such as, “I am doing my best,” “I deserve happiness,” and “I believe in myself.” Treat yourself as you would a dear friend—kindly and encouragingly. When you notice a judgmental thought, acknowledge it and replace it with a kinder, alternative thought.
Replace negative self-talk with positive
Use this free resource to practice supportive self-talk.
2. Set Times for Regulation: Consistency helps train your brain to find calm. Establish regular times to use your relaxation tools, much like training a pet. Consistency creates habits, and predictable moments of calm can help your nervous system become more familiar with relaxation. Choose the time during the day that you want to devote to your mental health and try to stick to it as much as possible (without guilt if you don’t).
3. Choose Tools That Work for You!: With so many suggestions available, it’s essential to find techniques that resonate with you. Not every method will suit everyone, so explore different approaches and adopt those that truly help you feel calmer and more centered.
4. Activate Your Vocal Cords: Using your voice, such as humming or making sounds, can activate the vagus nerve, signaling your body that it’s safe. Try “voo” breathing—take deep breaths and make a low “voo” sound as you exhale slowly, emptying your lungs fully. This simple exercise can create a calming effect. (Kuhlmann, K., & Cramer, H. (2020). "Vocalization and the Vagus Nerve: Implications for Health." Frontiers in Psychology.)
In this video, we guide you through a gentle exercise to activate the vagus nerve, promoting relaxation and emotional balance. Ideal for those on a fertility journey or facing life’s stressors, this practice helps reduce stress and anxiety. Learn techniques to foster a sense of safety and well-being, encouraging a positive mindset for conception. Embrace hope and serenity as you enhance your overall wellness. Take a deep breath and find your calm!
5. Tapping for fertility (EFT): Emotional Freedom Techniques tapping can help calm your nervous system, similar to acupuncture. Tap gently on specific points on your body while focusing on calming thoughts. Tapping can be particularly effective when tailored toward fertility concerns. (See EFT for fertility blog)
Discover the power of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) in our video designed to support your fertility journey. This calming tapping exercise helps reduce stress, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy, creating a nurturing environment for conception.
6. Create an Image of Hope: Visualize a positive outcome, such as holding your future child. Picture what it would feel like, how it would look, and the emotions you would experience. If this feels too overwhelming, visualize any positive and calming experience that brings you joy. Show this image to your mind daily to cultivate hope.
7. Movement: Regular movement releases tension, boosts mood, and supports hormonal balance. Choose activities that make you happy, like dancing, gentle yoga, or a walk in nature. Even small, joyful movements can positively impact your body and mind.
8. Writing: Journaling your thoughts and emotions helps release pent-up feelings. Spend a few minutes each day writing freely—no need for structure. Just let your emotions flow onto the page, allowing your mind to process and release them.
9. Sharing your feelings with someone—whether it's a friend, a fellow traveler on the same journey, a therapist, or a support group—can be incredibly helpful. Keeping everything inside can be overwhelming. There are many options available, some of which are affordable or even free.
Join our free monthly support group
Join our monthly Intimate Support Group—connect with others, share your experiences, and learn valuable regulation tools for your fertility journey. You’re not alone!
Most Important!! Remember, these tools are meant to support you, not to add pressure. It’s okay to feel stressed, and it’s normal to have ups and downs. Choose the strategies that resonate with you, and approach yourself with kindness and patience on this journey. Also be open to discovering your own strategies.
